At Peace with Myself!

Today I am at peace with who i am, Who i was and who i am becoming. Everyday i grow more in what i see in our world, our laughter, our lives... I see nothing as if it couldn't be any longer but as it could be. I have set goals, set plans, set my value a bit higher then before and most of all come to love myself fully. We all have a spot, a Moment if you will that something is triggered to change what paths we are in that make us un happy.. Mine was simple but yet scary It was Depression.. That Depression that i let control me took over my life, lead me to be the 290lbs i was and, to think i was not good enough for anything this world had or was in it. After many attempts and trials i decided change had happen and no one could change it other then myself. That this was my last chance to find myself and not waste the rest of my life in this unhappy measure. The battle i thought i was doing alone Wasn't so alone, It has been filled with many Loved ones, Friends, challenges, People who are stranger but yet held me together. I had and have a full community behind my life change something i never knew could happen. They say i inspire them but, if they only knew it was their will that set my path and value so highly to get there..

Today i was sad to see a close friend who struggles with her weight had become heavier. I hurt for her because i know how she feels and where she is at in her mind set. My biggest fear is that i wont be able to reach enough people to get out of that slump. No one, No one should ever have to live trapped in depression or prisoned in a body that they don't like. I know that i will never be there again ever.. I say it so Loudly and B0ldy because its a truth. Sometimes its takes drastic measure to seek change and sometimes with enough hard work we see it happen. I wont let myself fall i Have to many people to help. To many people to love, To many people that support me to ever go under.. I am truly blessed to have found me. I wish i could fix or help each person out there that struggles with their weight because i have been them and i still ache for the pain they suffer because its still fresh how it felt but i have come to know that its my past and sometimes it takes drastic measure to get to know ones self!


I had to write about this because its been on my mind since i left our friends. I think my Direction in life is to help people find that Strength to make change in their lives. I hope i can and i hope that i do them proud. I have many people that i meet at the gym everyday who ask me advice in how i am changing myself, or how to help them change their paths. I will teach them all i know and help them as much as i can to see how beautiful they are. To see how worth the work they are, to see that they can be just as happy as they want to with just a bit of support and knowledge.. I didn't learn on my own, i learned it from others, From my wonderful husbands support and love, From my good friend Cat, From the Founder Of Spark People, From my new friend Kayla who taught me the workouts i needed to know, From Holly At Goldendale Gym and Fitness with all her support and love,From my Beautiful 62 yr old friend Patty who is a healthy hot Grandmother who i aim to be at that age that helped me complete some of the most toughest challenges, From the community who has watched my changes and inspired me to become new. From Programs such as the Biggest loser series on T.V., From all the books i have read... I am so ready to share whatever i can to help others.. I cant wait to reach my goal and for the first time ever its Real.. It will Be reached and I can do it!