My life story

So as Child I didn't have easy. My parents where in a very unhappy marriage and they showed it often. I was 4yrs old when they first started asking who i would want to live with when they divorced..My father was a drug addict, and alcoholi, my mother worked 3 jobs to support us because dad couldn't keep one.. When i was about the age of 9yrs She pulled my siblings and i out of school because she thought she could do better than the school systems. She did have it in our best interested but, than of course is when my fathers addictions got worse and out of control, she picked up all those jobs in that year. My father sat around drunk while i school my siblings to the best of my knowledge.. I was grown by 9 or 10 yrs of age doing most of the house work, cooking you name it.. AS time moved my mother gave me the option to attend a real school for high of course i needed the freedom so i took it and than things became even more harry in my life. My work nothing i held a 4.0 all through my freshmen year but, i met boys there and fell into the trap of one that was involved in a gang. I was young and searching just to feel loved than i never knew why i was that way or things got that way but, now i see. So i got in with a wrong crowd and my father the Drunk tried to fix it by saying i couldn't see this worthless peace of shit of a boy.. yes he was but then i just wanted to be loved right?? So i didn't listen i was tired of being alone and the grown of my family when no one else was. He got pissed i and grounded me beat my ass with the belt I could barely sit the next day. by then i was 15yrs old.. i decided it was time i had delt with it long enough and i was tired and angry so i did what most think to do but never do I ran away from. During that time period when i was gone many things happened, most i have never written about until now but, i need to say to get to what happened today..

The boy i was with really was a bad seed i didn't know and i was but he had did awful things to his sister and that's why he was in an orphanage! He lead me to a friend of his to stay for the night on my first night gone from home.. Remember i was 15 and stupid... So i did i stayed there and he left so he wouldn't get into trouble from being gone past curfew.. This friend well he failed to mention was really a man! Like i said i was young so i trusted easily i needed someone to be there.... So i sat down watched Montel Williams and he offered me some orange juice with Vodka i said sure, I started drinking and i remember the room starting to become blurry about half way though my drink within about 15 mins maybe 20 then everything went black, I came to with this man on top of me my bottom clothing pulled away and of course i began to struggle scream, pull his hair you name. Hit me with something hard and than i woke again with him gone and no where in site..
I gained myself and put back together and walked the 15 miles a good friends home where she let me in asked no ?'s and helped me hide..( I have never told many people this story but i need to its part of something i let go and i want people to see its not their fault..)
So returned that next night, i never have told my mother of what happened or my father i just let it go deep down inside of me and the changes the promise never were met. Even after what happened i still went back to that Bad boy because its what i thought was the only love i could get.. my father caught me was out raged and then packed up my belongings and told me to tell my mother good bye.. He was taking me to live with his sister in N.D. so that she could straigthend me out.. My mother stood there didn't even try to stop him and let me take me away.. it was the longest drive of my live 24hrs. He didnt even stay he just left me and i had never felt even more so alone than that very moment..( now through out this event.. there is more.. so lets brake and see more of the story..)


A few days before my departure i had caught my father in an awful act.. My mother had taken in her then best friend who had an awful record with drugs in the past and the law and remember my mom worked 3 jobs... Well i watched as my father flirted and eyed this woman... they became close and one day i came home from school to find them in bed.. He still doesn't own up to it and i don't think he ever will. so back to my trip to N.D.


My mother decided to come and see me and make sure i was well , i refused to go home because there at least my aunt was there for me and had time to show me love.. my mother returned to find the awfulness of the story.. my father had run off with her friend and took my sibling with him.. no address no nothing my mother i hear had a nervous brake down and that's another long story later i will brush..

So i stayed in nd for a year or so.. found a bf that i thought i loved got pregnant and then returned home that way.. i worked full time while in North Dakota supported myself and never took any help so i had lived like an adult already for over a year. So i became a mother and still wanted nothing to really do with mine the pain was still fresh so i lived with my grandmother supported my daughter on my own and attended high school to get my diploma.. i was not going to fail her.. i would do everything in my power to give her more than i had to show love and that nothing is impossible if you really want it.. My grandmother was my Rock then she helped me with my daughter watched her while i worked and never let me down.. so this is part of my story.. i did find a wonderful man whom i was friends with in high school and he is now my husband took on my daughter as his own and nothing could ever be better..


So what lead to my story today.. A guy came in my work complaining of his teenage daughter who was being rebellious and ran away from home.. He is thinking she is pregnant, he swearing and saying she would' nt get any help from him... need to mention she is 13 yrs old.. So i opened my mouth and told my story.. I told him that teenagers all seek around of independence in life of respect and we as adults might not always view as they do.. But that it his job to be there for her help her through her challenge in life support her and hear her.. That just because he is angry it no action to show her no love that maybe she will be president or a lawyer or even just a cashier but that she is part of him and its his job and duty to be there as her father.. To giver her time and remind her he is there to listen.. that even a baby is not the end of the world but, could be that very thing that bonds them and saves her life.. I believe my daughter saved me from all that could of been and i am thankful, i will never turn my back her and i hope that Guy learns from what i said and is the father he needs to be even when its most painful and scary..

So this is where it lead today...