Welcoming Change!

Excitement ripples through my body as i think of the coming adventure my family seeks. Fear is settled a bit back further trying to push its way forward but, thankfully the Excitement is pushing it further past into the dark shadows of life! I am Ready for a new adventure, a new place, new people and a fresh start of peace. I am sad though that i will be leaving the one place that my babies truly know as home! I guess that's the fear that they will be unhappy and not adapt! WE move in April sometime or even sooner, we are searching for our new home and jobs I know together we can accomplish anything because as we work as one our stranght is multiplied by tons! In a perfect world these things would happen as i want them to unfold. First Find good jobs at the coast its my peaceful surrounding, Second find a cute little place to call home, Third my babies to make friends quickly and find that with change comes good things..And finally for us to be content and happy with our change together!




I often at times find myself coaching my person through life, through hurttles, or challenges that have entered my life. Saturday at the gym i really didnt want to workout or push myself so i brought in a picture of my old self and sat it on the machine in front of me, As i worked i promised that person that was in the picture that i would never let her go again, that i would seek health for her, that i would push to be happy and that the old person was gone for good. It was the best trainning tool i have ever had. I know sounds funny to talk to one's self but sometimes its exactly what our soul needs to heal! Pictures are blunt they show all of our outside flaws but, sometimes you can just get a glimps of what the inside ones are too. I saw this person unhappy, lost, feeding for depression, searching for who she might be. It may have taken about 6 yrs but, she found her place and is starting to madly love the woman she is becoming. I am anxious to see myself at the finish line to feel the glorty to feel the rewards of health that i have gained to see how truly healthy i am feeling now!

I am so sorry though for eating for comfort of depression, for feeding her full of fatty greasy foods, for not spending enough time on myself, for losing who i was in the business of this world. For letting others looks, words scare my soul for letting the world end my battle and not stepping my foot out the door first. I am proud though that i have adapted to the change, that my body feels alive again and that i have now found the strength in my self that has been hiding to fight for what i want.. i am thankful!