Kinda a Blue day!

Today has been a day of questioning myself and doubt. I ran into an older lady at the gym and she asked how long i workout a day i told her i do an hour of cardio a day and every other day i added in strength training so on those days my workouts are about and hour and 45Min's.. She says its too much cardio.. I was fine until she made this statement and its not wearing me out and i don't feel like collapsing when i am through so whats the right and wrong amount to workout. I feel lost now like maybe i am harming my body. Though all in all after my workouts i feel so energized and alive i mean if it was bad for me wouldn't i be exhausted and dieing? i am doing my best on my own to get to my goal a better healthier me.. I eat about 1800 calories a day, i burn about 400-500 calories a day at the gym if my body feels hungry yes i will eat but other wise i am trying to stick to my calorie goals. I feel so good like i am doing better and trying to mix my foods up. I just thought until this point with this lady today i was on track doing better and than she puts that small bit of doubt in the back of my mind like i don't know myself or my body. i am tired of being heavy, tired of being in this body i am imprisoned in. I want better i would love to be under 200 lbs even if its 198 by the end of April i am at 230 now so i just guess i am pushing for something i cant see but, i feel i will reach if i keep pushing myself to do this.. Yes there are many days i don't feel like getting my butt to the gym but, i want this badly enough that i make myself drive there and just step on the machine and before you know it, its done over with and i feel way more energized than i began my day. Cat maybe you can help me? am i doing to much or to little or eating not enough or too much.. i don't know if only i was rich and i could hire a trainer maybe than i wouldn't feel lost in the dark. this journey thus far has been the most difficult of all.. i have been off and on this route now for over 2 yrs but, i have not given up i always get myself back on track and lose the weight i put back on. this time though i told myself not more on and off shit its only on and i am going to get my ass to the end of my goal. i hate that i feel at times of giving up and that i think to myself my husband loves me over weight why cant i? than its those moments i brake down crying saying i don't like my body. I know my working out and eating better are the only things that will get me to that point but, when will it feel like i am there? when will i be closer and how the heck did i let myself get to this point anyways. I have not enough hours in my day so yes i lack in the sleep department but, its not like the rest of the world doesn't either. I hate hate hate being heavy.. its that hate that drives me to get healthier and workout harder to make it happen. i am joined the biggest loser challenge at my gym and i am hoping i can reach it there or even just get myself better than i am now. I mean i love who i am i just want the outside to match the inside. the goofy, bouncy me that over flows and makes everyone smile but myself because i let myself image eat away at my love for myself.. Its my working out and eating better though that reminds me i do love my body enough to get out of the ditch i have put myself into no matter how hard the road that lies ahead is..