Worries!

Feelings of guilt seep into my belly as i think about my vacation. I know he says to take it but, i just feel awful knowing he is working so many hours! Its hard working for the same place of employment. much harder than i ever thought it would be. I feel like he cashed out his vacation so that we could get caught up on bills and here i sit taking mine and he is stuck working. How can i take it without feeling guilty? I hate my job not the people, or smiling faces i see everyday who are happy i am there. i am just stuck in rut, in feelings of hate for what time its taken away from us you know? i think that is why i have that hate for it. I have the days where i am down, grumpy and moody, today is one those days! just blah tired of bills piling up and never feeling on top of anything any more. I feel like i am failing cause i cant keep on my laundry, house work and and do my job i know every modern woman does all these things and i feel like i am someone who is weak cause i cant keep up on it all!
I worry that if he cant make me happy he is going to think i am leaving, i am worried that he is going to try to so hard all the time that he will tire of me. I am not going anywhere i am happy with him no one else but by telling him my feelings i have caused such insecurity in him and i feel sad for that! I see us better now than before but, i just hope i don't ever let him down. I cant do it all any more like i could before. i feel so badly that i cant do everything and getting everyone organized and on course. like i said its just a blah day..I guess all this tired ness of things have put me in mood and i feel like i am just simply failing!
I wish i could super woman lol if only it were there that simple! than all would good and complete everyone happy with clean clothes on their backs, dinner in their tummies and everything done!I need to cuddle i just need to be held and know i am not a failure though it doesn't matter how much i am told its just how i feel today! So many people turn to me, or ask me for advice and i don't see why i am no smarter than anyone else.. i am just a thinker.. I think and i analyze everything, i read people well and see their feelings in how they act, i am people person. I hate having someone sad, or mad or knowing i let anyone down! If i could do one thing in this world it would be to send everyone person out my door smiling and knowing they are loved and needed! so this is whats on my mind today.. feelings of failure, like i have caused panic in my partner, and like i have let down everyone including myself.. tomorrow will be new and things will be fresh and this foul mood will be gone!