Fall Colors!

Look at the beauty this world has to offer? i love the pretty falling color'd leaves that hit the ground, the cool crisp wind brushing my face and the laughter of the kids playing in the fallen leaves! We set out on an adventure to find some pretty fall colors and found this pretty little park near NorthWestern lake! haha WE had two pretty geese come up to our feet and eat right in front of us it was just breath taking. my once dapen mood had become peacefull and sunshiney all in on breath. There is nothing like a good old family drive to chat and enjoy the beauty that waits at our feet. Take pride in our world, walk along the beaches, swim in the rivers, lay in the fallen leaves. not everyone in our nation has what we do so gobble it up, breath it in and live it to its fullest!

9 Words Women Use!

NINE WORDS WOMEN USE
(1) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here - This is true, unless she says 'Thanks a lot' - that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say 'you're welcome' . that will bring on a 'whatever').


(8) Whatever: Is a woman's way of saying F-- YOU!


(9) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking 'What's wrong?' For the woman's response refer to # 3.



So i got this from my Aunt and I had to post and share lol!

A Peaceful Ending!

So my once started foul
mood day ended in a much happier state of mind! The first bright thing that lifted my spirits was faiths first goal of the season! I am so very proud of her! Last year at soccer she was this timmed thing that wouldn't even run up on the ball and she has done a complete 360! My hubby made it there in time to see the big moment! All season lon he promised her a celebration cake if she made a goal and she did it just in the nick of time it was the last game of the season! Way to gooooo FAITHIE Mama is sooo proud of you!
Second good point of my day was a much needed nap it left me refreshed and ready to enjoy the afternoon with my hubby and kids! We went up and let my mothhers dog out for her (she is out of town) and watched the kids run laugh and play! We than got stuff to make dinner (fried egg sandwhichs)yummmm!
The greatest hight light of my evening was simple lol my husband and I together making dinner talking and enjoying each others company! I am so blessed and I know I need to stop stressing over the little things lol and let go of the shit that brings my day down so its off for a warm bath and enjoy a cold beer! I love you jon thank you for our time together and I am proud of you for keeping your promise to me!

Letting Go of Todays Thoughts!

So my mood started out foul yesterday evening. My day had been great, i was bouncy, laughing making jokes my customers had made my day! It was good, i spent time with Jon, WE together picked out Halloween Costumes at a Costume shop, enjoyed lunch together and so forth. Faiths Friend came over i try hard to except that not everyone is handled well and that patients is needed when being in my situation! We had arranged to have some friends come over for drinks i didn't even think of how maybe faiths friends mother would view that so like any good parent should i called and double checked that it would be okay. Come to find they don't even casually drink around her so i simply didn't drink problem solved. MY mood became foul and i couldn't shake it or maybe its that didn't want to make myself shake it. WE can control our moods and today i had set myself up for the foul mood and than i was not to pleasant to be around! I feel badly for it. I have just let so much of the burden of our lives effect my happiness its not even funny. Why? worrying solves nothing but makes the subject worse! Our money has been tight beyond tight but, it always has been i just guess i have come the braking point of realizing i am tired of it! We ran out of propane today and its what heats my home, makes my water warm, and runs my dryer SO i am down. My poor hubby he is trying so hard to make me laugh and happy he is such a wonderful man. I feel badly that i cant just make that smile be there or let go of things.
I have been upset about my home, its slowly falling apart i cant keep up with my house work any more since my work load, and my grandmother, and trying to make time for everyone! I cant just find a day to sit and i hate having any company at my home with it a mess. It s my pet peeve i guess i love cleanness and my house since i started working full time has never yet been that way again. I feel like live in a pig pin that i don't even recognize! I hate the funny smells i cant pin point, the dusty TVs, the non cleaned carpets, the non mopped floors, my dirty bedroom and the laundry that never seems to go away! Jon is helping he is trying and i am just so picking its not much help to him. Honestly my messy house has been a big part of my Foul mood! I feel ashamed that its not like it use to be, my kids rooms need attention and they cant give it the proper amount it seems, i feel like i have stepped into some strangers home of filth!
I know sounds like madness or a woman who just needs to relax but in all there is not time for that! So i am off for a soccer game with my daughter, than a pizza party with her team, home for dinner and back to let out my mothers dogs.. I hope my day ends up better if so later on i well check back and post the happiness that has come!

Worries!

Feelings of guilt seep into my belly as i think about my vacation. I know he says to take it but, i just feel awful knowing he is working so many hours! Its hard working for the same place of employment. much harder than i ever thought it would be. I feel like he cashed out his vacation so that we could get caught up on bills and here i sit taking mine and he is stuck working. How can i take it without feeling guilty? I hate my job not the people, or smiling faces i see everyday who are happy i am there. i am just stuck in rut, in feelings of hate for what time its taken away from us you know? i think that is why i have that hate for it. I have the days where i am down, grumpy and moody, today is one those days! just blah tired of bills piling up and never feeling on top of anything any more. I feel like i am failing cause i cant keep on my laundry, house work and and do my job i know every modern woman does all these things and i feel like i am someone who is weak cause i cant keep up on it all!
I worry that if he cant make me happy he is going to think i am leaving, i am worried that he is going to try to so hard all the time that he will tire of me. I am not going anywhere i am happy with him no one else but by telling him my feelings i have caused such insecurity in him and i feel sad for that! I see us better now than before but, i just hope i don't ever let him down. I cant do it all any more like i could before. i feel so badly that i cant do everything and getting everyone organized and on course. like i said its just a blah day..I guess all this tired ness of things have put me in mood and i feel like i am just simply failing!
I wish i could super woman lol if only it were there that simple! than all would good and complete everyone happy with clean clothes on their backs, dinner in their tummies and everything done!I need to cuddle i just need to be held and know i am not a failure though it doesn't matter how much i am told its just how i feel today! So many people turn to me, or ask me for advice and i don't see why i am no smarter than anyone else.. i am just a thinker.. I think and i analyze everything, i read people well and see their feelings in how they act, i am people person. I hate having someone sad, or mad or knowing i let anyone down! If i could do one thing in this world it would be to send everyone person out my door smiling and knowing they are loved and needed! so this is whats on my mind today.. feelings of failure, like i have caused panic in my partner, and like i have let down everyone including myself.. tomorrow will be new and things will be fresh and this foul mood will be gone!

Children Show Us Who To Be!

Its funny as we become grown ups our lives change, things become serious, funny stuff is adult humor and those childhood moments are no more! We went to a friends house for a BBQ and fun times. As we were sitting on the coach visiting our kids were preforming plays they had created lol it was the best to watch them sing, dance, joke around laugh those moments are the ones you hold on dearly to! I will never forget them and i am thankful they are able to be free spirited children with good imaginations and dreams! Seeing them smile, and do there thing makes me realize i am doing my job good! WE often judge ourselves and are harsh on our parenting so many of us don't want to make the same mistakes our parents did or raise our kids better than the life we had. That was my prim goal as a mother to give them more love, more laughter and joy than i had as child! I see now i am different than my mother and my father, for a long time i swore i was them, doing a poor job and letting them rule over how i was doing it. One day i just got fed up i moved 100 miles away and decided i am who decides what is and who is in their life no one else! Sometimes its the best part of growing to move away and see what we are really made of! Who we are how independent we can truly be! i use to depend on my grandmother for everything she was and still is my rock in life! Often times we forget how to be our own person and its those times that we feel the most lost because we have let go of who we are! Needing help does not mean we are helpless it just means we are human but needing help and letting others lead your life are very different situations! I am fully in charge of me, myself and I, I will not let anyone else rule it or run it. I am the maker of my dreams and the catcher of the ones i hold dearly. I am the mother, the wife , the sister, the aunt, the daughter, the granddaughter and so forth i am me! I wont let anger, sadness be the forever ruler of who i am any more. I have always been a free spirit waiting to catch the shooting star way up in night sky. I am glad i am back at that point in my life. I am in love so much in love with my life, my husband and our goals. I cant wait to reach the new chapter in my life when i start school and work for a career to help us build our lives together. I cant wait for my kids to see us attack our biggest fear of failure and see nothing can stand in your way if you really work hard and know its worth working for! We all dream of success , goals, happiness and freedom, No one person ever said those things would come easy but, with hard work and persistence we can have whatever we set our hearts out to reach.. So dream, Dream big and strong and know that you can achieve whatever it is you truly want with the passion in life you put out! this is my days thoughts thus far and i keep replaying the plays our kids were putting on last night. It makes me smile to know they can be kids!

Pumpkin Patch Day

So we took the kids to the pumpkin patch and had lots of fun. It was a beautiful sunny day and my husband made me feel like a young high school girl again pulling me behind the crowd to sweetly kiss me with his soft lips.. mmmmm i love the feeling of those lips they make me feel so loved and want more lol.

We found our many pumpkins, wonder through the corn maze, tunneled through the dark pumpkin house and looked at the exciting pumpkin themes! I must say all in all this is and was a happy day! Now its off for a bbq with some good friends and movies woot woot!

The end to my sadness and The beginning to our lives!

When we first take our steps in our life we struggle to get the right footing in front of us as to not fall and get a bump, Sometimes its just like in our adult lives We struggle with the daily challenges of our lives and hope that bump doesn't hit us hard. Those bumps, those mild stones in our lives are what makes us who are today. Nothing happens for no reason its simple sometimes we cant see the reason at that moment.
6yrs ago my husband and I moved our family to small town out here in the eastern part of Washington. We found a job at the same place and decided together it would make a good life for us. Buying this business would help us later on in our path of life. So we pushed worked hard and gave everything to it, lots of hours, lots of lost moments, and one day it hit me I didn't want it any more. It was taking valuable time from my family my life my person, so i slowly started asking my husband to spend more time at home and less time at work. Its hard when we grow we change just the like the season sometimes its good and sometimes those awful traits we hate are hard to shake free of. I loved him so much that i let him go, to this job this goal we had set long ago in the past. I realized i wanted more, i want to get a career where my life does not revolve around my work, my children don't suffer and my marriage is top priority in life. After awhile asking him to make his days of his days off he just seemed to throw himself more into work. I know it was not intentional for him to neglect us but, in the end my non voice is what helped it happen. I stopped talking, i stopped being the nagging wife i thought and feared i had become. I slowly started to fade into a deep depression, Sadness is all i felt and alone. I felt i had become a single parent. Over time my love for him slowly started falling away. I had never thought so much that what i wanted as younger person would change as i grew but, it has and i am thankful i took the advice a good friend and spoke my mind!
I had to go out of town for a family wedding it was than it hit me, I didn't want to return to my home, my husband i wanted to stay away and not face the feeling in my gut. This feeling of lost love and not knowing who he was, who we were any more. I knew the us from the beginning not the us at the present time any more. He use to be my person, my best friend my lover and my soul mate and i feared so much that it had gone away! I thought for sure i had lost him to this job, this small town that in my heart i knew was not going anywhere.
So we talked he listened i spoke words that hurt him but, where simple and the blunt truth. I was so sad as i watch my husband my Jon crying because i had to tell him that i was falling out of love with. This job had taken him away from me and i let it! He in past had made promises to change to make his time at home more and less at work those old promises never got met. So i was fear full to believe that he would do it this time when he said it. I am glad i listened and spoke to him because now he has changed, the job is second and we come first. I have slowly started to rekindle that love for him everyday my bond my love for him grows stronger and we become the people we were meant to be. I know and have always known he is the love of my life and now we are back on track with who are.
After much talking we both agreed the store is taking us no where fast and we need more for our family. Good jobs, more opportunities for our kids and more time to make for each other. I still fear a bit that what i have done could back fire and he will resent me for asking him to see what i saw about our past goal the store but, i have faith that he really wants it not just for my happiness but, his too! I have to give faith in something that is scary because i felt my heart tear at the seems and i don't want it to again. I know though in my heart he wants it too and i am confident that we will pull out of all this together. Together i know we can make it through any hurtle if we just help each other and listen. Listening is the key to any marriage, any relationship If its not there than your bound to end up with heart ache and failure!
Thank you Jon for listening for realizing what we had and deciding we worth more than anything this world could offer us! I love you with all of my heart and i am yours for always!